I went with Mom and my cousin to my Aunt's place yesterday. They were packing up photos to take with them and the rest was just going to be left as is. The small apartment was packed with knick knacks and it was just a slice of life of the Aunt that I hadn't seen in so many years. Pictures of my cousins and their children; kids I never not to meet. Old photos of my Mom and Grandma and Grandpa. In many ways she raised my mom. My mom has many of her mannerisms still. And the same cheekbones.
I found out she was a member of the Heavy Metal Church of Christ. That's - the most Aunt Donna thing that I have ever heard. She never failed to have vibrancy and to make people laugh.
I asked her son if I could take a gold plastic last supper bias relief framed wall hanging - complete with mirrored background. I kept looking at it and fell in love with the kitschiness. I couldn't look away, it just demanded attention. In some ways - it felt like Aunt Donna herself. Flashy, dramatic, religious. lol I am going to hang it on my wall proudly. It will remind me of her when I look at it and smile.
I wish I had gone to see her more. I kind of suck at peopling.
It's going to be a hard, but hopefully rewarding few years. Long story involving finances and depression. I have reached out to some places to volunteer my time, though for most of the summer I have very little to spare. My job is still short-handed, and everyone is short-tempered. I may move back to night shift for a decrease in daily stress. I have requested off time in November so we will see how that goes. If I switch to nights I might lose the time off ------ but for all that is green and fuzzy I DO NOT want to be at work during the insanity that will be the 2024 election day. I want booze and art and distraction. lol I would also like cuddles; for that I rely on Scribbles, the best doglet ever.
I have tried to make more focused goals professionally, financially, and otherwise. Only time will tell if I will succeed. But I do trust myself most of the time. I have to be my own support system.
Look at this glorious golden sausage party. I love it. I just need to find it the perfect spot to hang. Rest in peace, Auntie.
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